I STUDIED BUDDHISM FOR TWO YEARS IN SECONDARY SCHOOL. It was then that I learnt about the life and transformation of the Buddha. From a prince with luxuries, fame and status in life, he chose the path of an ascetic and later attained Enlightenment under the Bodhi Tree.

 

I remembered asking my brother if there were a Bodhi Tree in Singapore. In my simple (or naive!) mind then, I thought that the wonder and mystic powers leading to Enlightenment came from the tree. My brother gave me no answer and I asked no more.

 

I grew up. Graduated. Started working. Faced all realities in life. FORGOT ALL ABOUT THE NEED FOR ENLIGHTENMENT.

 

As realities seem to defy the feasibility of all spiritual doctrines, I began to doubt if Enlightenment is even possible in the age today. I seriously believe that I would get more bored or frustrated than enlightened if I try to meditate under any holy tree in my current mental state. I seek desperately for peace. INNER PEACE.

 

The more I seek. The more it seems to delude me.

 

A thought fleed past my mind yesterday evening. Leading me to think deeply before I slept. There was once a spiritual leader who chose the path of living with bandits for 15 years. During this period of time, no Bodhi Tree was in his vicinity. He had to practise spirituality in this somewhat harsh condition in the midst of barbaric beings. In this state of injustice, he stayed for 15 years!!!

 

But during this period of time, his pure heart was not stained by the harsh realities of outside world. In fact, the harsh realities served to help him in attaining his realization then to deter him.

 

Strange is it not? So Enlightenment is independent of Bodhi Tree. Even a condusive, peaceful environment is not a must.

 

I realise that it is seeing things as they really are. To exist in the present. Experience NOW.

 

I was chatting with XBB on my way home yesterday after my two-hour exercise routine at Amore. As we discussed and shared the frustrations we faced at work, she told me about a book that she is currently reading that is made up of short insightful essays. In one of the essays, the writer wrote about the difference between Ideal & Reality.

 

Ideal is what we hope to have. Reality is what we actually face everyday.

Stress, Anger, Dissatisfaction and a host of other negative feelings basically arise when the Reality we face is far from our Ideal.

So what's the catch?

We can't change Reality.

But we can make adjustments to Our Ideal so that it is not so far from Reality. No matter what, Happiness is inversely proportional to the gap between the two.

 

We have many ideals in our heads ... A caring, rich and romantic boyfriend. A good paying job with understanding boss that is stressfree. A circle of supportive and understanding friends which is gossip and slander free ...  the list never ends.

 

But hey, anyone who studied physics would know that Ideals rarely .. (or never) exists!

 

So kill those Ideals floating in your heads. Get Real. The Reality that you face is the Life Now!

Simply embrace it instead of wasting energies comparing it against your Ideals.

 

Life is Happy. Life would be Happier.

 

 

 

I am often in a contemplative mood at the beginning of the year. Pondering over what happened in the year that passed. Brooding over broken resolutions. Attempting to set more resolutions for the new year. Re-living the moments of joy or sadness in the past year. It's like pressing the rewind button and then the play button in slow mode.

 

It has not been a very good year for me. 2006. Full of stress. Unexpected Changes. Tears. A year that trained me in the arena of quiet determination and endurance. Definitely not one that I would want to go through again.

 

You win some. You lose some. So I have learnt.

 

I used to believe in a diplomatic workplace where everyone contribute and work like a team. Cordial. Helpful. Win-Win for all. Now I think I am naive to have believed such a workplace would even exist or be stable (in chemistry terms) in the world today. 2006 taught me to wake up. I am 35yrs old. Old enough to know the realities of working life ... and most importantly ... to accept and survive in it.

 

... to be continued ..

 

 

 

Chopped off my long hair yesterday. Finally. I have been wanting to do that for quite some time.

Yesterday I finally did it. Bao said that it was a mistake. That it made me look somewhat "auntie". Mum said that the cut is refreshing and looks nice.

 

Good or bad. Nice or not. It's my choice. I feel lighter. Less burden. Someone once described our crown of glory as the silk of worry.

 

Cutting the mane that I had kept for nearly two year appears to be somewhat a loss to some. Refreshing change for others.

 

For me, it is somewhat philo. I want to worry less. Think in shorter terms. Care not of actions of others. Think less. Do what I want. Live in the present.

 

Seems like this has nothing to do with hair to you?

 

VicVic sent me a writeup on 90/10 Principle by Stephen Covey last week.

 

In short, it says that 10% of your life is made up of what happens to you.

90% of your life is decided by how you react to this 10%.

 

Simple yet Profound.

 

Something for your mind to munch!

I was at work.

"Come over for dinner tonight", he texted me in the afternoon.

I never knew simple fare like fried eggs, straw-mushrooms with broccoli and tofu could be so appetizing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

RETURN TO INNOCENCE
By: Enigma

Love - Devotion
Feeling - Emotion

Don't be afraid to be weak
Don't be too proud to be strong
Just look into your heart my friend
That will be the return to yourself
The return to innocence.

If you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
Be yourself don't hide
Just believe in destiny.

Don't care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don't give up and use the chance
To return to innocence.

That's not the beginning of the end
That's the return to yourself
The return to innocence.

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*** Listening to this song gives me a weird sense of peace and freedom *** Work Sucks ****

*** Can't sleep well *** Can't eat well ***

*** Hurt my knee-cap *** Smashed my Quarter Marathon Dream ***

*** No Feel like Talking ***

*** Leave me Alone ***

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MY WORK REQUIRES ME TO TALK A LOT. More than I would choose to. 

Phone calls and emails from vendors. Meetings with Sales and Operations. Talk Talk Talk ...

 

Maybe I am lazy to open my mouth. Sometimes ... or rather very often, I choose to not talk unless it is absolutely necessary. A group of colleagues can be chatting away enthusiastically away just by my desk ... Fashion, Korean Idol, Branded Goods, Gossips about who and who in the office, ... anything. But often, I choose not to participate unless it is necessary.

 

 

Switched off? Yeah ... But between talking and silence, I would definitely choose the latter.

 

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Aloof or Cool, Proud or otherwise, I believe that moments of Silence do my more good than bad. Keeping quiet "conserves energy". We are constantly reacting to external triggering factors when we talk. In such a fast-paced society, fast and prompt reaction is demanded in every situation. How many times have we reacted and said something but later regret?

 

Hence I promote observing Moments of Silence.

 

 Pauline ... The one who listened to my Agonies

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 Jerlin ... The one who guided me at my most Goondoo

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 Mag & Godma ... whom I relied on for constant support

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 Ah Har ... Her open-attitude, laughter is ever contagious

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Adventures on the MRT

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Val Val and me were taking a train down to town area last Thursday.

She got a seat next to the entrance and we were mindlessly chatting when a lady in her thirties came onboard.

She was wearing that kind of baby-style blouse with pants that pregnant lady tends to wear.

Both of us "examined" the tummy of that lady before affirming that she looked pregnant indeed.

Val Val then stood up politely to offer her seat to her.

"No no no ... I don't need a seat", the lady replied with body language that shouted:

"I am NOT pregnant!"

 

The train continued it's way downtown.

Val Val and myself tried to hold back our laughter.

 

As the train stopped over at Orchard Station, another lady in her forties strode in.

This time, we were pretty sure she must be pregnant.

It was clearly a maternity dress that she had on.

Val Val's eyes and mine met in silence.

We nodded to each other.

This is the time ... for us to gain Good Karma points.

Once again, Val Val stood up politely to offer the seat.

To our astonishment, the exact same answer came:

"No no no, .. I do not need a seat!" said the lady ... rather impolitely.

 

"Why huh? Wrong meh?" Val Val asked me telepatically.

 

So Moral of the Story:

But Absolutely Sure that the lady is pregnant before you stand to offer your seat.

Kindness does not always beget Kindness.

 

 

 

 

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I left for Germany during one of the most painful periods of my life. It was tough to put down your career, family and friends to stay in a foreign land of different language and culture.

 

I once read that any person who encounters a threatening situation, there are only two possible reactions: Fight or Flight. Friends who know me would often think that I belong to the Fight Category. I always put up a strong front and rarely do I need people to help solve problems of mine. On the contrary, I am usually the one for friends to come to when they have problems of any kind. So along with this Big Sister Appearance, most would assume Fight would be my reaction over Flight ... Nope Nope.

 

My leaving for Europe was a Flight Reaction. To escape from a painful period of my life.

 

But be it Fight or Flight that one chooses when a threatening episode in one's life unveils, I believe that Time is the best Antidote for any pain or suffering.

 

Be it Pain or Gain, Happiness or Sorrow, Grief or Jubilee ... This Too Shall Pass Away.

 

 

The house that I stuck a pin above was the place that I stayed when I was in Germany, Eddersheim. A small quiet town sitting just outside the busy City of Frankfurt.

 

We (7 Asians) rented the entire apartment on the second floor for 1400 marks per month. You see the black car parking just outside the house? Thats a Volkswagen belonging to the owner of the house, Norbert Schwab. A friendly and easy-going guy working in IBM as a programmer although he should have very enough to live by from the number of apartments that he is renting out.

 

The house diagonally opposite ours belong to an elderly couple whom we enjoyed chatting over the weekends. They still have the same green car that they drove since 1998.

 

I miss the quiet lifestyle, walks along the Rhein River ....

 

Finding this snapshot in Google Earth sure brings back fond memories of my days in Germany.

 

 

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When I was working in Europe, I chanced upon the concept of the Hundreth Monkey Theory.

 In summary, if a critical mass of people have the same thoughts,

such thoughts and knowledge would be "transmitted" to the rest of the population.

 

If I put a cloud of vacuum around my head,

Would a hundred people having the same thoughts that are not in alignment to mine

Fail to affect me?

 

I Wonder

 

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