Tree Cutter: Reflections

Setting Priorities Right

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 01:37:48 GMT

SO LITTLE TIME AND YET SO MUCH TO DO. Such is a very common situation our modern society is offering to us. Work, Family, Friends, Fitness regimes, ... Work-Life Balance seems like such a hard-to-attain ideal. I was inspired by Leo's write-up on setting priorities at the beginning of the year/month/week/day.

So many times, we find ourselves struggling to juggle the issues that we have on hand. And very often, we attend to things that are calling out to us more loudly or frequently, instead of the really more important issues, ... unfortunately.

I recall reading First Things First by Stephen Covey some years ago. He basically categorized issues facing us as Important or Unimportant and Urgent or Non-Urgent.

At times, it is worth the while to stop for a moment and reflect ... it is of no point climbing the ladder so hard when you do not know if it is leaning on the correct side.

Guess this weekend would be a quiet, contemplative one for me.

Get Real about Enlightenment

Wed, 04 Apr 2007 09:01:31 GMT

I STUDIED BUDDHISM FOR TWO YEARS IN SECONDARY SCHOOL. It was then that I learnt about the life and transformation of the Buddha. From a prince with luxuries, fame and status in life, he chose the path of an ascetic and later attained Enlightenment under the Bodhi Tree.

I remembered asking my brother if there were a Bodhi Tree in Singapore. In my simple (or naive!) mind then, I thought that the wonder and mystic powers leading to Enlightenment came from the tree. My brother gave me no answer and I asked no more.

I grew up. Graduated. Started working. Faced all realities in life. FORGOT ALL ABOUT THE NEED FOR ENLIGHTENMENT.

As realities seem to defy the feasibility of all spiritual doctrines, I began to doubt if Enlightenment is even possible in the age today. I seriously believe that I would get more bored or frustrated than enlightened if I try to meditate under any holy tree in my current mental state. I seek desperately for peace. INNER PEACE.

The more I seek. The more it seems to delude me.

A thought fleed past my mind yesterday evening. Leading me to think deeply before I slept. There was once a spiritual leader who chose the path of living with bandits for 15 years. During this period of time, no Bodhi Tree was in his vicinity. He had to practise spirituality in this somewhat harsh condition in the midst of barbaric beings. In this state of injustice, he stayed for 15 years!!!

But during this period of time, his pure heart was not stained by the harsh realities of outside world. In fact, the harsh realities served to help him in attaining his realization then to deter him.

Strange is it not? So Enlightenment is independent of Bodhi Tree. Even a condusive, peaceful environment is not a must.

I realise that it is seeing things as they really are. To exist in the present. Experience NOW.

Ideal vs Reality

Tue, 03 Apr 2007 01:29:12 GMT

I was chatting with XBB on my way home yesterday after my two-hour exercise routine at Amore. As we discussed and shared the frustrations we faced at work, she told me about a book that she is currently reading that is made up of short insightful essays. In one of the essays, the writer wrote about the difference between Ideal & Reality.

Ideal is what we hope to have. Reality is what we actually face everyday.

Stress, Anger, Dissatisfaction and a host of other negative feelings basically arise when the Reality we face is far from our Ideal.

So what's the catch?

We can't change Reality.

But we can make adjustments to Our Ideal so that it is not so far from Reality. No matter what, Happiness is inversely proportional to the gap between the two.

We have many ideals in our heads ... A caring, rich and romantic boyfriend. A good paying job with understanding boss that is stressfree. A circle of supportive and understanding friends which is gossip and slander free ... the list never ends.

But hey, anyone who studied physics would know that Ideals rarely .. (or never) exists!

So kill those Ideals floating in your heads. Get Real. The Reality that you face is the Life Now!

Simply embrace it instead of wasting energies comparing it against your Ideals.

Life is Happy. Life would be Happier.

Still Waters

Fri, 23 Feb 2007 02:49:26 GMT

Let your emotions resemble that of a huge lake that runs deep. Quiet on the surface, hidding its depth from passerbys. Let no stones and pebbles upset it's peace and equilibrium.

I see life as a series of lessons for us to take and learn. Events and people that upset our inner being serve as alerts to highlight the weakness of our feelings bank. Accept and embrace whatever that comes your way. Be it good or bad. Easier said than done. This little enlightenment once achieved, opens up a path leading to self-liberation and inner joy!

Life's Idiosyncrosies

Tue, 09 Jan 2007 01:15:46 GMT

I am often in a contemplative mood at the beginning of the year. Pondering over what happened in the year that passed. Brooding over broken resolutions. Attempting to set more resolutions for the new year. Re-living the moments of joy or sadness in the past year. It's like pressing the rewind button and then the play button in slow mode.

It has not been a very good year for me. 2006. Full of stress. Unexpected Changes. Tears. A year that trained me in the arena of quiet determination and endurance. Definitely not one that I would want to go through again.

You win some. You lose some. So I have learnt.

I used to believe in a diplomatic workplace where everyone contribute and work like a team. Cordial. Helpful. Win-Win for all. Now I think I am naive to have believed such a workplace would even exist or be stable (in chemistry terms) in the world today. 2006 taught me to wake up. I am 35yrs old. Old enough to know the realities of working life ... and most importantly ... to accept and survive in it.

... to be continued ..

Lookback

Fri, 05 Jan 2007 01:39:21 GMT

2006 .. filled with surprises, tears, stressful moments, reunions, unexpected turns in life. I am glad that 2006 is over.

No resolution for 2007. No long hours of reflection of what went right or wrong. At 35, I have come to realize that right or wrong very much depends on where you are standing.

"Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose."

- Evan Esar -

Hair Cut

Sun, 10 Dec 2006 03:35:12 GMT

Chopped off my long hair yesterday. Finally. I have been wanting to do that for quite some time.

Yesterday I finally did it. Bao said that it was a mistake. That it made me look somewhat "auntie". Mum said that the cut is refreshing and looks nice.

Good or bad. Nice or not. It's my choice. I feel lighter. Less burden. Someone once described our crown of glory as the silk of worry.

Cutting the mane that I had kept for nearly two year appears to be somewhat a loss to some. Refreshing change for others.

For me, it is somewhat philo. I want to worry less. Think in shorter terms. Care not of actions of others. Think less. Do what I want. Live in the present.

Seems like this has nothing to do with hair to you?

Everybody is talking about 90/10

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 01:19:14 GMT

VicVic sent me a writeup on 90/10 Principle by Stephen Covey last week.

In short, it says that 10% of your life is made up of what happens to you.

90% of your life is decided by how you react to this 10%.

Simple yet Profound.

Something for your mind to munch!

Love Food

Tue, 24 Oct 2006 02:44:29 GMT

I was at work.

"Come over for dinner tonight", he texted me in the afternoon.

I never knew simple fare like fried eggs, straw-mushrooms with broccoli and tofu could be so appetizing.

Potion for the Soul

Wed, 04 Oct 2006 02:22:47 GMT

It could be work or it could be my poor organizational or people handling skills, I have been pretty stressed up for the past few months.

Jogging used to be my best antidote for stress. No matter how difficult a day was, all would vanish after a good run. Like I always say, the Bedok Reservoir has always been the refuge for my Soul since my TJC days.

Till a month ago or so, ... when I hurt my right knee-cap. Probably due to overstrain in my attempt to train for the Standard Chartered Quarter Marathon. I was managing about 8km in less than an hour. When my right knee cap and left ankle and lower back started to ache. A visit to my usualy Chinese physician confirmed that I have strained my legs too much. Told to stop running. Sob Sob!

Running has always been part of my life. To stop running is simply too much for me to accept.

But then, this was really a classic case of The Mind was Willing but the Flesh was Weak. I went against doctor's advice and tried running two weeks ago. The pain was like hell when I just finished about 1.6km. That night I sat at the Bedok Stadium for half an hour in pure sadness.

I started to contemplate why all forces were preventing me to run just when I needed to run most.

I have always had this habit of running away from problems. Between Fight or Flight, it has always been Flight for me. I decided there and then that it could probably be a sign to remind me to stop running away from problems. Face your Fears and they would vanish away!

After two weeks of diligently abstinence from jogging, I hit the tracks once again yesterday evening. It was a purposeful slow jog. Like Aung always insists, I do not jog, I run like I was running for my life. Ha!

5km in 45min was my speed

It was a good start

I might still make it for the marathon

Or I might not

But my daily mantra now from the spiritual lesson learnt was

Never Run when Problem Comes

Return

Thu, 21 Sep 2006 01:22:01 GMT

RETURN TO INNOCENCE
By: Enigma

Love - Devotion
Feeling - Emotion

Don't be afraid to be weak
Don't be too proud to be strong
Just look into your heart my friend
That will be the return to yourself
The return to innocence.

If you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
Be yourself don't hide
Just believe in destiny.

Don't care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don't give up and use the chance
To return to innocence.

That's not the beginning of the end
That's the return to yourself
The return to innocence.

*** Listening to this song gives me a weird sense of peace and freedom *** Work Sucks ****

*** Can't sleep well *** Can't eat well ***

*** Hurt my knee-cap *** Smashed my Quarter Marathon Dream ***

*** No Feel like Talking ***

*** Leave me Alone ***

Nightmare

Mon, 31 Jul 2006 11:44:42 GMT

I was standing at a door.

A very big door. On both sides of the door were two meters with numbers constantly changing. I looked left and right. Left and right again. Trying to make out what the changing numbers meant.

I opened the door and walked in.

I entered a maze. Leading to many many more doors.

I started to run.

Opening and entering many doors. Only to realize, each door opens to even more door.

I continued to run and run.

I saw two men in armour.

One of them was Aung.

He was carrying a sword that was longer than his height. He carried that sword in his right hand. In his left hand, he carried another sword. A much shorter one.

I did not see the face of the other man.

They started fighting.

They were fighting on ground surrounded by water.

I do not remember where I stood or how was it that I had paranonic view of the whole duel.

The other man fell into the water.

I saw him no more.

Aung jumped into the water to pull him out.

The fight ended with no winner or loser.

Shut Up

Fri, 19 May 2006 09:40:48 GMT

MY WORK REQUIRES ME TO TALK A LOT. More than I would choose to.

Phone calls and emails from vendors. Meetings with Sales and Operations. Talk Talk Talk ...

Maybe I am lazy to open my mouth. Sometimes ... or rather very often, I choose to not talk unless it is absolutely necessary. A group of colleagues can be chatting away enthusiastically away just by my desk ... Fashion, Korean Idol, Branded Goods, Gossips about who and who in the office, ... anything. But often, I choose not to participate unless it is necessary.

Switched off? Yeah ... But between talking and silence, I would definitely choose the latter.

* ALOOF * COOL * PROUD * INTROVERT * CONFIDENT * ANTI-SOCIAL *

are I get from people regarding this "trademark" of mine

Aloof or Cool, Proud or otherwise, I believe that moments of Silence do my more good than bad. Keeping quiet "conserves energy". We are constantly reacting to external triggering factors when we talk. In such a fast-paced society, fast and prompt reaction is demanded in every situation. How many times have we reacted and said something but later regret?

Hence I promote observing Moments of Silence.

* Quiet the Mind

* Filter out the Negativities

* Get things into Perspective

Turning the Clock One Year Back

Thu, 11 May 2006 04:09:02 GMT

Pauline ... The one who listened to my Agonies

Jerlin ... The one who guided me at my most Goondoo

Mag & Godma ... whom I relied on for constant support

Ah Har ... Her open-attitude, laughter is ever contagious

QUIZ: What does all the above have in common?

Kindness Begets Kindness?

Mon, 08 May 2006 05:17:50 GMT

Adventures on the MRT

Val Val and me were taking a train down to town area last Thursday.

She got a seat next to the entrance and we were mindlessly chatting when a lady in her thirties came onboard.

She was wearing that kind of baby-style blouse with pants that pregnant lady tends to wear.

Both of us "examined" the tummy of that lady before affirming that she looked pregnant indeed.

Val Val then stood up politely to offer her seat to her.

"No no no ... I don't need a seat", the lady replied with body language that shouted:

"I am NOT pregnant!"

The train continued it's way downtown.

Val Val and myself tried to hold back our laughter.

As the train stopped over at Orchard Station, another lady in her forties strode in.

This time, we were pretty sure she must be pregnant.

It was clearly a maternity dress that she had on.

Val Val's eyes and mine met in silence.

We nodded to each other.

This is the time ... for us to gain Good Karma points.

Once again, Val Val stood up politely to offer the seat.

To our astonishment, the exact same answer came:

"No no no, .. I do not need a seat!" said the lady ... rather impolitely.

"Why huh? Wrong meh?" Val Val asked me telepatically.

So Moral of the Story:

But Absolutely Sure that the lady is pregnant before you stand to offer your seat.

Kindness does not always beget Kindness.

FIGHT OR FLIGHT

Thu, 04 May 2006 02:15:52 GMT

...this too will shall away

I left for Germany during one of the most painful periods of my life. It was tough to put down your career, family and friends to stay in a foreign land of different language and culture.

I once read that any person who encounters a threatening situation, there are only two possible reactions: Fight or Flight. Friends who know me would often think that I belong to the Fight Category. I always put up a strong front and rarely do I need people to help solve problems of mine. On the contrary, I am usually the one for friends to come to when they have problems of any kind. So along with this Big Sister Appearance, most would assume Fight would be my reaction over Flight ... Nope Nope.

My leaving for Europe was a Flight Reaction. To escape from a painful period of my life.

But be it Fight or Flight that one chooses when a threatening episode in one's life unveils, I believe that Time is the best Antidote for any pain or suffering.

Be it Pain or Gain, Happiness or Sorrow, Grief or Jubilee ... This Too Shall Pass Away.

Memories of Days in Germany

Wed, 03 May 2006 03:27:16 GMT

The house that I stuck a pin above was the place that I stayed when I was in Germany, Eddersheim. A small quiet town sitting just outside the busy City of Frankfurt.

We (7 Asians) rented the entire apartment on the second floor for 1400 marks per month. You see the black car parking just outside the house? Thats a Volkswagen belonging to the owner of the house, Norbert Schwab. A friendly and easy-going guy working in IBM as a programmer although he should have very enough to live by from the number of apartments that he is renting out.

The house diagonally opposite ours belong to an elderly couple whom we enjoyed chatting over the weekends. They still have the same green car that they drove since 1998.

I miss the quiet lifestyle, walks along the Rhein River ....

Finding this snapshot in Google Earth sure brings back fond memories of my days in Germany.

Power of Collective Thoughts

Fri, 28 Apr 2006 03:42:06 GMT

... Avoid loud and aggressive persons,

they are vexations to the spirit ...

Desiderata by Max Ehrmann 1952

When I was working in Europe, I chanced upon the concept of the Hundreth Monkey Theory.

In summary, if a critical mass of people have the same thoughts,

such thoughts and knowledge would be "transmitted" to the rest of the population.

If I put a cloud of vacuum around my head,

Would a hundred people having the same thoughts that are not in alignment to mine

Fail to affect me?

I Wonder

Relax .. It's Friday

Fri, 21 Apr 2006 04:45:47 GMT

It's half-way passed Friday

As my mind unwinds

A weekend of peace & quiet my soul hopes to find

Quiet walks by the beach

Away from crowd and chatter

Out of reach from phone calls & sms

Solitude is much welcomed ... i confess

Slain the Devil Within

Tue, 11 Apr 2006 00:59:52 GMT

BATTLE w THE CAT

MEOW MEOW

LaoTzu said,

"He who knows others is clever;

He who knows himself is wise.

He who conquers others is strong;

He who conquers himself is divine."

A virtual demon hidding deep within

Empowered by memories and attitude of a close one

This demon must be slain

The Battle has begun

* 35yrs * 420mths * 1,820wks * 12,775 Days * 306,600 Hrs *

Mon, 10 Apr 2006 06:35:12 GMT

RESOLUTION
- 2006 -

To take charge of my own mental state;
To be responsible for all my choices (work or personal);
Not to blame any entities external to me;

Confucius said,
"At 15, I set my mind upon learning;
At 30, I took my stand;
At 40, I no longer had doubts;
At 50, I knew the will of the heavens;
At 60, my ear was attuned;
At 70, I follow all the desires of my heart without breaking any rule."
(Analects, translation by James Legge)

Happiness is a choice.

We have the right to choose our reaction over,

whatever circumstances we face,

People we work with,

Environment we are in.

This Resolution sounds simple enough as it is.

Sometime next year, this time,

May I enjoy the jubilee of achieving it.

Daily Journey to the Land of Woods

Wed, 22 Feb 2006 01:46:36 GMT

A Highway in the midst of Greens ...

..Peace to my Mind it brings

My daily routine involves the 45min bus trip that brings me from the eastern to northen end of the island. Many comment that such a distance daily back and forth is unbearable. To me, however, the time in this 45min in the morning offers me:

* Additional time to snooze;

* Enjoy the beautiful scenery in the clear morning sky;

* Clear my mind to get ready for a good day.

Guess this daily training helps me to be one step closer to being able to take charge of my own mental state.

I can't change the time on the bus journey. But I can adjust myself to make full use of this 45min instead.

Charles Darwin,

"It is not the strongest who survive;

Nor the one who is most intelligent;

But the one who is most responsive to Change."

Desiderata

Tue, 21 Feb 2006 01:17:03 GMT

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

The above poem by Max Ehrmann, 1952, stood beside my monitor. A constant reminder that true peace is sought from within and not from outside.

I remember some tips of Stephen Covey from 7th Habits of Highly Effective People in which he stressed on the importance of working within our Circle of Influence.

Things that fall into the Circle of Influence refer to things which we have the capacity to influence and make a change in them (Eg, Our own Attitude, The Way we see things, How we spend etc). Many people, however, often exhaust themselves by wasting time and energy on things that fall outside our Circle of Influence.

For example, a colleague might have some traits which we might not necessary see eye-to-eye in. As a result, we spend time and energy being bothered by it or bitching about it. It takes wisdom to realize that such an approach does not create any positive change and courage to stop oneself from falling into the same trap again.

I have fallen in many such traps which drain my emotional energies badly. As I write this, I hope to remind myself not to be such a victim ever again. Peace for Everyone :-)

Move On with Life ... Lesson from Ah Bruce

Thu, 02 Feb 2006 06:56:37 GMT

It was Chinese New Year ... my brother and his wife and two sons, Ben & Bruce were at my place.

Ben is the elder, 7 years old.

Bruce just celebrated his 4th birthday two weeks ago.

As usual sharing of toys ended up with the two boys squabbling. Causing quite a din.

This soon ate into the patience of my brother who walked over and whacked the two of them.

"He should be whacked more ... He started it first!", Ben cried and shouted.

"Enough! ... Both are in the wrong!", my brother replied in a stern manner.

"No! ... He should get whacked more! ....", Ben went on and on and on ...

All the while, Bruce (the little one), was watching his father and brother.

Then, suddenly, Bruce simply walked up between the two of them and slapped his left hand three times very loudly with his right hand.

A simple action like this ... It seemed to be telling his older brother, "There you have it! Come on, let's move on with Life!"

My Reflection:

How many times have we got ourselves stucked in difficult situations which cause suffering for all and yet we do nothing to resolve?

How many times have we spent time worrying, fretting, procrastinating ... but simply no will to snap out of the Mental Shit Hole?

So Ah Bruce taught me a wonderful lesson. If a drastic action needs to be undertaken, then brave through it, then move on with your life!